


Here Be Dragons

by Xela



Category: Stargate SG-1, Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, M/M, Where is Sam?, mild crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-06
Updated: 2012-07-06
Packaged: 2017-11-09 07:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/453014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xela/pseuds/Xela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas accidentally BAMFs himself and Dean into Stargate Command.  Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Be Dragons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sleepyheathen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyheathen/gifts).



Dean falls down and kisses the strangely metallic floor. He's singed from the _fire breathing dragon_. Please, let him repeat that: Fire. Breathing. Dragon. Like an idiot he'd said, "Sure Sam, go to your sketchy secret thing that had better not be drinking bitch blood because we're working on our _trust_ so I'll just be on a simple hunt with Cas." Sam gets the dragon next time.

"No more dragons," he says to the ground.

"Please tell me dragons aren't real," a voice that is not Castiel's says. "We really don't need to add dragons to the List."

"What list?"

someone else asks.

"You know. The List. Of weird crap we have to deal with. Like the randomly appearing people in the gate room." Dean slowly sits up and wants the dragon back. There are twenty guys with automatic guns pointed at him, and four armed-but-not-currently-threatening-them people staring bemusedly at him. Dressed in fatigues. With weird symbols on their uniforms that Dean's never seen. And the bald black dude has a weird symbol on his _face._ The one who's been doing the talking is older than the others, with grey hair. "Hi randomly appearing people in the gate room. Whatcha doin'?"

"Uh," Dean says, blinking. "Not making any sudden movements?"

"That's...a refreshingly good idea," Silver Haired Leader Guy says. Kind of looks like MacGyver but...old. "And you?" he asks Cas.

"Lower your weapons," Castiel says in his low growly "Do Not Fuck With Me" voice that doesn't do funny things to Dean's anything. Predictably, that makes all the gun wielding people remember they have guns and shift them to make a point. Castiel hauls himself to his full height and glares at them.

"I am an Angel of the Lord," Castiel announces. "You will lower your weapons!"

"Not a god?" the guy with silver hair asks, a mite sarcastically for facing a divine instrument of God's wrath.

"No."

"You sure? Anubis, Apophis and Ba'al are taken, but pretty much every other letter of the alphabet is game. I've always wanted to run into a Nut." Cas looks confused.

"We know Loki," he offers. Dean sighs.

"So, uh, which angel would you be?" Glasses Nerd--oh, definitely a nerd, Dean can smell it--asks.

"Castiel."

"The angel of Thursday," he says knowingly, and Castiel perks up at that.

"Yes. You have...heard of me?" Dean almost thinks Cas is pleased.

"Of course," Glasses Nerd says, like Castiel is a household name. "And you?"

"Dean," he says, hiding his smirk.

"Dean? I...haven't heard at you." He frowns like he should have and wow. All nerds really do look alike because Sam pouts like that too.

"He is the Righteous Man," Castiel says, laying a hand on Dean's shoulder, right over the brand. The touch goes through him, and he swallows.

"Yeah, what he means is--" Behind them, he hears grating metal. An alarm goes off. Dean slowly turns around. There's a giant metal ring behind him. The inner portion moves around like an old school rotary telephone dial, seven triangle lighting up when it pauses to adjust.

"What. The fuck." Dean says. The seventh light engages, there are people yelling, and what looks like an explosion of white bubbles leaps forward at them. He feels Castiel grab him before it touches them, and gets the feeling that were Castiel not glued to his back this would feel less like a gentle massage and more like death.

The bubbles recede and there's what looks like a horizontal swimming pool inside the metal circle. It's...really pretty. And probably a portal, which means nothing good will be coming through. God, don't let it be dragons.

"How the hell--"

"--the origin?"

"Close the iris! And get those idiots away from--"

Dean steps back, straight into Castiel, when someone emerges from the portal. It looks...like a real pale old guy with a staff and an odor problem. Dean grabs Cas because Portal Guy's eyes are white. In Dean's professional opinion, the dude's possessed. Also, this ring thing is Not Okay.

"Earth," the creature says, taking a deep breath. "And you shall know the truth of Origin. You will worship the Ori, and all who refuse to acknowledge their trued Gods shall--"

"There is only one God," Castiel says, "be gone." He touches the possessed guy, who throws his head back in a silent scream. It's like Castiel's touch shatters him; a pure, white light leaks out through the seams, flashes brightly, and then darkness. Dean opens his eyes and blinks.

"Um." Everyone's staring at them. MacGyver is openly gaping. Glasses Nerd's eyes are huge. Blonde Soldier might shoot him with her gun after she's done being shocked. Weird Tattoo Guy is...apparently unflappable. 

"Well. There's your daily angel miracle. If that's all, we're gonna go. We have an Apocalypse to stop," Dean says with a nervous smile.

"Uh. Yeah. Us too," MacGyver says.

"Wait. Are...you're really an angel?" Glasses Nerd says, gaping. Castiel tilts his head to the side, then...smiles. (Dean is NOT jealous. For the record.)

"Daniel Jackson," Castiel says, and he sounds...reverent. He turns to Dean, who forgets to breathe and goes a bit stupid when faced with that smile. "He has not saved the world as many time as you, but his work is admirable. Nor has he died as many times as you and your brother. He too is a Righteous Man."

"No one has died as many times as me and Sam," Dean mutters.

"Wait, what?" Nerd Glasses Jackass exclaims.

"Thank you for your service," Castiel says politely, and then BAMFS them out of the bunker and into their hotel room.

"Cas. What the hell was that? With the world saving and the possessed guy and that bald dude's tattoo?"

"He is a Jaffa. The tattoo symbolizes his former enslavement to the false God Apophis."

"Jaffa. Isn't that, like, a lame British thing?" Dean asks.

"No. It is an alien." Dean blinks.

"The illegal kind?" Dean asks.

"I am unfamiliar with the immigration procedures of non-Earth born humanoids," Castiel says.

Sam takes that moment to burst in, looking happy and wind-chapped.

"Hey, how'd the hunt go?" he asks, tossing his things on the table. He's all...glowy. Figuratively. Still, it never hurts to check, so Dean fishes out his holy water and flings it in Sam's stupid smiling face.

"Dude, what the hell?" Sam asks, but it's just amateur level bitchitude. Not up to Sam's usual standard.

"Did you get laid?" Dean asks suspiciously.

"Nope," Sam says, still way too happy. He slaps a gigantor hand on Castiel's shoulder with a friendly, "Cas," then disappears into the bathroom. Dean thinks for a minute then goes rooting around in Sam's wallet. He comes up with a stub marked with today's date.

_Roscoe's Skydiving..._

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [(Podfic) Here Be Dragons by Xela](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1973721) by [saltyunicorn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltyunicorn/pseuds/saltyunicorn)




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